Day 1

Last week was my first week at home alone with both boys.  I was so nervous as I watched Ryan walk out the front door on Monday morning, but the week went by quickly and pretty smoothly.  It's going to take some getting used to...but at least I know I can do it!  Here's how our first day went...

Monday:  The day was finally here...the day I had been dreading since we got home from the hospital...the day Ryan went back to work full-time.  It wasn't so much that I was dreading being alone with my boys, although a bit scary, I just didn't want my husband to leave!!  It was SO nice having him home for a few days and Austin had so much fun playing with daddy all week!  It was a great week to get adjusted to our new life and I was able to get some sleep and bond with Owen while Ryan entertained Austin.

Well, Monday morning both Austin and Owen decided to wake up about the same time.  I had to feed Owen while Ryan got Austin out of bed.  Ryan eventually left for work and Austin was very sad to see his daddy go.    I turned on Austin's new favorite show, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and cuddled Owen for several minutes while Austin was entertained.  Owen decided he was going to be awake ALL morning though and didn't want me to put him down.  Austin also wanted cuddle time so we basically spent our first morning on the couch with Owen in my arms and Austin crawling all over me as we watched Nick Jr. and I tried to keep Austin from knocking the new baby in the face or head with one of his flailing appendages.

Eventually it came time for Austin's nap (hallelujah!) and wouldn't you know it, baby Owen decided he was starving about the same time I started up the stairs with Austin.  I had to forfeit our nap time ritual of the ABC and Jesus Loves Me books to run downstairs and check on Owen who was red-faced and screaming by that time.  Austin took a nice long nap though and Owen eventually drifted off.  I tried to nap but the overwhelming need to clean my messy house set in and tidied up instead.  Rookie mistake!

That night Ryan had a softball game so bedtime was completely up to me.  Just getting Austin fed, bathed, and jammied was difficult enough with the constant breaks to soothe and/or feed Owen.  He must have sensed something was new because, like I said, he was awake ALL DAY!  I finally started up the stairs with my tired, teething toddler and sure enough, halfway up the stairs I hear Owen starting to wail!  This time when I dropped Austin off in the crib though, he was none too happy about me rushing out.  By the time I was downstairs to calm Owen, Austin decided to let me have it.  I popped the paci in Owen's mouth and ran up the stairs with Motrin and Orajel for Austin.  And as I walked back into Austin's room, I could hear Owen screaming again.  I just had to ignore him for a few minutes to get Austin settled down and hearing my baby crying downstairs was killing me!  I felt a panic attack coming on and broke out into a cold sweat.  Why, oh why, was this happening on the only night Ryan was gone!  Our pediatrician warned me that the hardest thing about having two children would be deciding which child to go to when they were both unhappy.  He advised me to choose Austin at first since he will remember I let him cry whereas Owen will not.  I took his advice but MAN was it hard!!

Eventually Austin was sound asleep and by the time I was back downstairs, Owen had cried his little self to sleep.  I whisked him into my arms anyway and those hormones took control.  Ryan walked in the door a few minutes later and I just started to ball!!  I must have looked pretty pitiful because the next morning Ryan got up with Austin at 7am and let me and Owen cuddle in bed for 2 more hours.  What a good hubby I have!!

The rest of the week went a lot smoother but I'm sure there will be many more days when I just want to curl up in a ball and pull my hair out.  To quote Kate Gosselin, "It may be a crazy life, but it's OUR life!"