This is real life...

This 'out of the ordinary' post isn't being written because today was a tougher than usual day, but it's something I've been trying to find the courage to write for sometime now (ok, so maybe having a rough day has finally gotten me in the right mood to divulge much of this, but it's not the only reason for it).

Recently I've taken notice that in the world of blogging, especially in the world of baby blogging, most posts tell of happy, exciting and funny moments. However, life itself is not always happy, exciting or funny - especially the life of a new mother. In fact at many times life can be scary, depressing and full of anxiety. These moments just don't always make enjoyable reading or people keep them hidden for fear that someone out there reading may realize that you don't actually have a perfect life.

Some may argue that most blogs are started as a means to only share good and exciting happenings in ones life with those you may not often see...and that was my intent when I began blogging at 4 weeks pregnant; but now I've realized that this blog has become a staple in the daily lives of many of my friends and family as well as people I hardly know and many I've never even met and it doesn't always accurately reflect my actual life or the life of a new mother.

Anyway, my blogging has led me to find the blogs of other people like myself who are doing the same thing I am doing...blogging about their wonderfully adorable little ones. Every now and then I would happen upon a blog that made me depressed because every post was about the great adventures of this little family and everyone was always smiling and having fun. How was it possible that 6 weeks post baby this mother was standing there with her hair and makeup perfect, not a bag or dark circle under her eyes, smiling away and talking about the past few amazing weeks of her life?? Ok, maybe she did have the perfect newborn, but I find it much more likely that the less than desirable details had been left out of the blog and the pictures of her at 3am trying to feed a screaming, hungry, wet baby with her eyes half open, dark circles unhidden by makeup and tears of helplessness and exhaustion rolling down her face...well...those were just left out.

So I'm sitting there thinking all these things and I finally decide to take a look at my own blog. Just as I figured...I was the same as every other baby blogger out there. When Austin began sleeping through the night I posted about that and how wonderful it was, but not the weeks of sleepless nights that led up to it. When he had a terrible case of baby acne I didn't share my frustrations with the blogging world, but retouched all of his pictures before I posted them to hide the unsightly red marks. I didn't tell anyone that I was so terribly anxious the first few months of Austin's life that I started treatment for post-partum just so I could feel comfortable taking my eyes off of him for a few minutes to get some housework done.

So many people get caught up in this baby whirlwind, and why shouldn't they? Online it looks so fun with hilarious little tales and pictures of cute happy babies with their adoring parents going to sporting events, the zoo and playing in the back yard. It seems that baby blogging has given off this idea that parenting is always cute, fun, enjoyable and worst of all... easy!

Well, this may be the only post of its kind, but I would like to make an effort in the future to "tell it like it is" to all of you out there reading about our journey. Austin is an amazing child and I love him unconditionally and with every last piece of my heart. I am so blessed that he is here and he is mine and I wouldn't have it any other way, but being a mom is hard, frustrating and at many times very lonely. My life is not all smiles and giggles and fun. Some days I wish I could call in sick, but I can't. Sometimes I even wish I could go back to my pre-baby life (with my pre-baby body) where my biggest worry was what we were going to do next weekend....and then Austin looks at me and smiles and my heart melts and I wouldn't have things any other way!

When you're a mommy there are good days, there are great days, and there are also plenty of bad ones. You just learn to push through the bad days and pray for a better tomorrow. And speaking of a better tomorrow, it's almost midnight, and the first step in having a better tomorrow in mommy terms is to get as much sleep as possible while you can.

Until next time....
Jennifer, In real life